I Refuse

When thoughts are raging, lies and truth at war,

And I’ve been here a thousand times before,

I could give up, give in without a sound—

But I refuse to lose this light I’ve found.

 

When condemnation looms and threatens so

And I can’t possibly feel much more low,

I could stay limp and listless on the ground,

But I refuse to lose another round.

 

So I’ll get up again, by grace, and fight,

For You, my Lord, O Christ; my Joy, my Light,

Are faithful till the end, Your promise stands.

So I’ll press on; my life is in Your hands.

 

So give me strength for every weary fight,

Till war on sin will cease, and all’s made right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Whatever It May Take

(Dedicated to a certain friend of mine—You know who you are. Love you.)

If you are in despair of life itself,

And cannot move another single step,

And if it hurts to draw another breath,

I’ll do for you whatever it may take—

I’ll fight for you.

Stay up all night for you

To help you persevere a little longer

And realize that this weight that you are bearing

Will, if you let it, only make you stronger.

//

If you are blinded by surrounding darkness

And cannot see that there is light ahead,

And future days seem empty, lifeless, dead,

I’ll do for you whatever it may take—

I’ll pray for you,

And say to you

That though today you can’t see past this sorrow,

Take heart, my dearest—Joy will come tomorrow.

Liberation

I feel the weight of this world upon my back,

It is too heavy for me to bear.

I look back on my early years,

Oh, those days when I was more free—

Curious about every little thing;

Learning about the world and how it works.

Oblivious to evil and immorality,

Not excessively burdened by stress, sin, or suffering.

That was me, back in the day—

Hardly a care in the world.

I didn’t know about murder and racism,

About poverty and dying people,

About spiritual warfare and the heaviness of sin

And all the hardships of life.

I was asleep, yet happy.

But why, when I reached adolescence,

Did the real world hit me so hard?

The knowledge of sin and suffering and evil came

And threatened to make me bitter,

Depressed, isolated, if I would allow it—

Causing me, in a panic, to build a fortress around my soul

So that nothing would hurt me.

I reached adulthood, it didn’t get easier.

The wall is still up, though I go through phases

Of tearing parts of it down, only to patch it up again

And I wish I could crumble it completely.

Where is the freedom I once had?

Where is my childhood innocence,

Not having a care in the world?

Why is the world such a scarier place?

Why did my life become so hard?

But, what if the loss of this so-called freedom,

This seeming innocence,

Was the means by which I would find another—

One new and more perfect?

Not a sort of “freedom” in which ignorance is bliss,

In which I am ignorant to the turmoil of this world,

But a difficult freedom, stripping me of happy oblivion

To open my eyes to the fact that I needed something more?

What if this seeming loss of freedom—

This introduction to pain and suffering—

Was indeed my liberation?

What if all the sleepless nights, the heavy battles,

The tears, the agony, the loneliness, the struggles—

Were the means by which I would at last be free?

What if Someone knew I needed Him,

And placed these hardships in my life so that I would find Him—

He, Who loves me with perfect love,

In Whom there is fullness of joy and fulfillment?

What if all the doubts and questions

Were what would cause me to dig deeper,

And to at last find what I am really looking for?

Because really, is oblivion freedom?

Is not knowing about sin freedom from it…

Or enslavement to it?

Is happiness actually happiness

If I am unaware of where I am headed?

…If I am hellbound?

And so I was, but didn’t know it.

So now I thank my God

For the loss of this jovial unconsciousness,

This falsely-happy sleep,

This intoxication of the mind,

And for using hardships and harsh realities

To tame my wandering soul

And bring me to Him, where I at last find freedom.

And although life is not easy,

And many battles will still be found

And many tears will still be shed

And many nights where I will lie awake…

This freedom that I have now—

Conscious of sin and darkness, yet, no longer a slave to it,

Aware of this world’s pain, yet bound for a new one,

Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing—

This is BETTER freedom.

O, Soul

O soul, well-worn and weary,

Please, hide your woes no longer.

God gave you others to fight with you,

And help you to be stronger.

So struggle by yourself no more,

Don’t bear it on your own.

They say strength lies in number.

Don’t fight this war alone.

 

©MaddieThePoet2016